Yep.  Don't believe it, do you?  The Ravyn's back, and blacker than ever.

Going into highschool.  Drinking expresso.  No alcohol though, not now, not ever.  With my family history, and tendency for violence, I don't want to know what could happen.  It's much too dangerous.

Many things have changed.  The Bastard revealed his true colors, making Miranda cry.  The entire fucking school found out that I'm pagan.  I went to the hospital for depression.

And now I must sleep.

I got back from Japan awhile ago.  I'm so sorry for not updating sooner--I've been really busy.  Anyhoo, I got a deviantart account--it's http://ravyn-wing.deviantart.com, if anyone's interested.  Anyway, I've gotta go--I'll update tonight, though.

Boredom is not very fun.  My life is dumb.  My grandmother came yesterday, so mum is freaking out.  She does nothing but bitch about everything and anything, and go shopping with mum.  Yesterday, the 21st, was eight weeks until I go to Japan.  Our sister city is in Japan, so we switch off every year.  Last year they came here, so now we get to go.  I'm going with my friends Ali and Trisha, and selling cookie dough and cheesecakes to help with the cost, around $1,800.  I've already saved up more than $200 of spending money-I'm happy.

ANyway, the movies I've seen recently are: Gladiator at a friend's house, it made me cry; Catwoman: Sorta weird, but good all the same.  I didn't like the ending, though, when she totally blew off all her friends.  I also saw the Princess Diaries 2, which I liked but she wasn't together with Michael at all, which so totally sucked.  I thought the apprentice bodyguard looked like him, kinda, though--he was cute!!  The maids were funny.  All my friends have seen The Village, and I know the ending.  That's just what happens when I talk to all of them.  I also knew the ending to Hidalgo-mum rented it yesterday and she said that she fell asleep in the middle of it 'cuz it was so boring.

I have four hermit crabs now, they're so cute!!!  Their names are Fanfare, Blue, Tag, and Erin.  Blue and Tag are two tiny Ecuadorian crabs, and the sweetest things ever!!  They're really scared of everything, but absolute sweeties.  The next one I got was from Petsmart, and his name is Fanfare.  He's a purple pincher crab, the more common of the species.  He has a pretty mother-of-pearl shell, and a beautiful purplish-reddish complexion.  He's the most fearful of all of them, so I'm in the process of socializing him.  My newest one is Erin, and she is just them nicest crab you've ever met.  She's boisterious, happy, and totally willing to crawl over you, and all over the tank!  I got her for a birthday present from one of my friends, Rachel.  I was at her house when we watched Gladiator.

From the seventh to the fifteenth we were in Florida, Orlando, to be more specific.  And yes, we did go through Charley.  In fact, I almost got blown away by the storm-I'll upload that picture soon.  It was quite fun, and I got the most adorable manta ray stuffy.  I'll also be putting up a picture of him-the species is an eagle ray, and I named him Skie.  Anyway, we went to Seaworld, Cape Caneveral (and lost our car in the parking lot), Universal Studios, Islands of Adventure, and Cocoa Beach.

Now, to answer questions from the tagboard:  Bell, my friend, I AM NOT IN A CULT!!!!!  I simple dislike christianity because of their extreme methods of trying to kill us out in the beginning of the century.  And to the other person, whatever their name is, I know what the craft is like.  It makes me happy.  But there's a little problem in my brain where a disease called DEPRESSION makes me UN-HAPPY.  It screwes with my brain and makes it unable to produce a chemical called serotonin, which is like a happy-chemical.  Because of it's absence, when I'm feeling down it can't give me a little boost up, so I simply sink lower and lower.  Thanks for reading "depression 101, simplified version".

I'm currently working on a couple stories for fanfiction.net, one is a Sesshomaru/Kagome, the other a Severus/Hermione & Lucius/Ginny.  To see more, read my profile on fanfiction.net, I'm linked.

 <--Awesome, there's a Sev & 'Mione!!!  Forever!!!

Ya, I was really bored, so I went to www.funny.com.  Look at these:xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com ffice ffice" /> > >

  > >

1. Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them > >

and stranding them at strategic locations. > >

  > >

2. Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the store. > >

  > >

3. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten-minute intervals > >

throughout the day. > >

  > >

4. Start playing Calvinball; see how many people you can get to > >

join. > >

  > >

5. Contaminate the entire auto department by sampling all the > >

spray air fresheners. > >

  > >

6. Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift-wrap. > >

  > >

7. Leave cryptic messages on the typewriters. > >

  > >

8. Re-dress the mannequins as you see fit. > >

  > >

9. When there are people behind you, walk really slowly, > >

especially in thin aisles. > >

  > >

10. Walk up to an employee and tell him in an official tone, "I > >

think we've got a code 3 in housewares," and see what happens. > >

  > >

11. Turn all the radios to polka stations; then turn them off > >

and turn the volume up to full blast. > >

  > >

12. Play with the automatic doors. > >

  > >

13. Walk up to complete strangers and say, "Hi. I haven't seen > >

you in so long." etc. See if they play along. > >

  > >

14. While walking through the clothing department, ask yourself > >

loud enough for all to hear, "Who buys this crap anyway?!" > >

  > >

15. Repeat #14 in the jewelry department. > >

  > >

16. Ride a display bicycle through the store; claim you are > >

taking it for a test drive. > >

  > >

17. Follow people through the aisles, staying about 5 feet > >

behind them. Do this until they leave the store. > >

  > >

18. Play soccer with a group of friends, using the entire store > >

as your playing field. > >

  > >

19. As the cashier runs your purchase over the scanner, look > >

mesmerized and say, "Wow, magic!" > >

  > >

20. Take off your shoes and tell them you want to return it and > >

when they say you didn't buy it there say "Hmmmm....I thought > >

the customer was always right!" > >

  > >

21. Move "Caution : Wet Floor" signs to carpeted areas. > >

  > >

22. Set up a tent in the camping department; tell others you > >

will only invite them in if they bring pillows from Bed and Bath. > >

  > >

23. Test the fishing rods and see what you can catch from other > >

aisles. > >

  > >

24. Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon. > >

  > >

25. Drape a blanket around your shoulders and run around saying, > >

"I'm Batman. Come Robin, to the Batcave." > >

  > >

26. TP as much of the store as possible. > >

  > >

27. Randomly throw things over into neighboring aisles. > >

  > >

28. Play with the calculators so that they all spell "hello" > >

upside down. > >

  > >

29. When someone asks you if you need help, begin to cry and > >

say, "Why won't you people just leave me alone?" > >

  > >

30. When 2 or 3 people are walking ahead of you, run between > >

them yelling "Red Rover." > >

  > >

31. Make up nonsense products and ask employees if there are any > >

in stock. (i.e.: Shnerples) > >

  > >

32. Take up an entire aisle in toys by setting up a full-scale > >

battle with G.I. Joe vs. X-men. > >

  > >

33. Take bets on the battle from above. > >

  > >

34. Test the brushes and combs in cosmetics. > >

  > >

35. While handling guns in the hunting department, suddenly ask > >

the clerk where the anti-depressants are. Act as spastic as > >

possible. > >

  > >

36. Hold indoor shopping cart races. > >

  > >

37. Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from > >

Mission Impossible. > >

  > >

38. Attempt to fit into very large gym bags. > >

  > >

39. Attempt to fit others into very large gym bags. > >

  > >

40. Say things like, "Would you be so kind as to direct me to > >

your Twinkies." > >

  > >

41. Set up a "Valet Parking" sign in front of the store. > >

  > >

42. Two words: Marco Polo. > >

  > >

43. Leave Cheerios in lawn and garden, pillows in the pet > >

section, etc. > >

  > >

44. "Re-alphabetize" the CD's. > >

  > >

45. In the auto department, practice your Madonna look with > >

various funnels. > >

  > >

46. When someone steps away from his or her cart to look at > >

something, quickly make off with it without saying a word. > >

  > >

47. Relax in the patio furniture until you get kicked out. > >

  > >

48. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, drop to > >

your knees and scream, "No, no, its those voices again." > >

  > >

49. Pay off layaways 50 cents at a time. > >

  > >

50. Drag a lounge chair over to the magazines and relax. Go to > >

the food court, buy a drink, and explain that you don't get out > >

much and ask if they can put a little umbrella in it. > >

  > >

*BONUS* > >

  > >

1. Attempt to do all of the above in the same visit, without > >

getting kicked out. > >

  > >

2. Try to hold up customers with the toy guns. See how much you > >

can make. > >

Fun Things To Do At The Library > >

1. Read out loud. Very loud. And slowly. 

2. While pointing to a very simple word, like 'the', ask the person next to you 

if he/she can pronounce it for you.

3. While looking at your book, turn so you're facing the person. 

Then, peer over the top of your book, and say "PEEKABOO!!"

4. Put down you book, and look over and start reading the other persons book, 

and, either 1) say "Ooo. Nice book." or 2) when he/she looks at you, quickly pick up 

your book and act like your reading it.

5. Suddenly look over at him/her, and say, "You're one of THEM!"

6. Put down you book, and look at him/her. When they says something like "what?", 

cut them off by saying "Are you accusing me of something?"

7. Read your book. Upside down.

8. Read your book from right to left. And flip the pages the same way.

9. Flip the page every two or so seconds.

10. Pick up your book, put it down, and say, "Wow. That was a good book."

11. Read silently, and then as if speaking to the character in your book, say, 

"No, Jim! It's a trap! Don't do it!!" Then turn to the person and reply solemnly, 

"He did it." when he/she looks at you.

12. Turn to the person and ask, "Have you ever experienced déjà vu and 

amnesia at the same time?"

13. Start arguing with yourself, then when he/she looks at you funny, say 

"Ohh, I'm sorry. I was just telling my subconscious to be quiet."

14. Sit down, and then say to the person next to you, "Hi! My name's (…) and 

I'm really glad to meet you."

15. Ask him/her if he/she knew there are eddies in the space/time continuum.

16. Ask him/her what species he/she is.

17. Every so often, yelp in pain, and look at your feet.

18. Bring a bag or purse, and peer into it and say, "Got enough air in their?" or, 

"Settle down in there. I'm trying to read!"

19. Ask them what their name is, and then when they start to reply, 

cut them off by saying, "No it isn't!"

20. Break the silence by making a bodily function noise, then say, 

"Wow! That was a good one!"

21. Every time the person next to you turns the page, make a strange sound, 

or a beep.

22. Announce the page number each time you turn a page.

23. Constantly shift in your seat, and if the person next to you asked what is wrong, 

reply by saying, "I'm constipated. Hehe."

24. Spell every single word as you read it.

25. Chew gum with your mouth open, and smack your lips while reading.

26. Act like you're picking your nose. And eating it.

27. Snort loudly, and gargle with your spit.

28. Sneeze a lot.

29. Hold your book right next to your eyes.

30. Every few minutes, get up out of your chair, walk around the table, and 

sit back down.

31. Stand up, and continue reading.

32. Make a strange sound every few minutes, then act like you didn't do it.

33. Bring a bag of cat food, and start snacking on it.

34. Bring a box of crunchy cereal, a bowl, and a spoon. Then dig in messily, 

and crunch on it.

35. Ask them, "Got milk?"

36. Read out loud attempting to pronounce easy words. Butcher them badly. 

But be able to pronounce hard words.

37. Fall out of your seat, then say, "I meant to do that." Then do it again. And again.

38. Bring a laptop, and turn up the sound, and play a very noisy game.

39. Wear too many sweaters, and complain how hot it is.

40. Bring one of those fans with a squirt bottle attached, and make it look 

like you're attempting to squirt yourself, but hit them instead.

41. Bring a bottle of squirtable mouth freshener, and miss every time you try to 

spray it into your mouth.

42. Wear A LOT of putrid smelling cologne or perfume.

43. Spill that same cologne or perfume on their book.

44. Put down your book, then say, "Hey, ya wanna trade?"

45. Bring a recording of very obnoxious music, and hide it in a bag. Turn it up full 

blast, and accuse them of having it. Keep accusing them, then get the librarian to 

come. When they find it in your bag, yell, "IT WAS PLANTED ON ME I TELL YOU!!!!! 

IT'S NOT MY FAULT!! IT'S A GOVERNMENT CONSPIRACY!! ALIENS BEAMED IT INTO 

MY BAG!!! IT'S BECAUSE I DIDN'T LET THEM DO EXPERIMENTS ON ME!!"

46. Without looking away from your book, say to no one in particular, "I know what 

you did last summer."

47. Bring a piece of bread, and drop pieces of it down the little hole in the center of 

the table meant for cords.

48. While reading your book, start humming a single note until you're out of breath, 

then collapse on the floor. Then get back up, and continue reading like nothing 

happened.

49. Start singing "This is the song that never ends. . ."

50. While placing small pieces of bread in a line, count one, two, three. . ., and lose 

count every ten or so.

51. Bring a recording of a popular song. Play it on headphones quietly, but sing along 

very badly. Then say to the person next to you, "I took singing lessons!"

52. Turn to the person sitting next to you and say to them, "Hey! How ya doin'? 

That's great, me too."

53. Instead of a laptop, bring your entire computer!

54. While working at a laptop, suddenly stand up, and announce to every one, 

"I have mail!!"

55. Start staring at the person, and when you have their attention, announce, 

"I measure sock by thickness!"

56. Turn to the person next to you, and ask them to pronounce their name backwards.

When they ask you why, tell them that you are looking for hidden messages.

57. State proudly that you have been to the 'other' side. Give no explanation.

58. Suddenly grasp your heart, let out a wail, and fall to the ground. Then get back 

up like nothing happened.

59. Collapse on the floor. Then get up like nothing happened. When the person next 

to asked what is wrong, look at him/her with an inquiring look on your face, and say, 

"What do you mean?"

60. Say, "It always starts so weird, and they do it so weird." When they ask, "What?" 

say, "Ohh, sorry. I'm back now."

61. Start telling a VERY strange story, then half way through say, "Never mind."

62. Turn to them and while pointing your fingers at them as if you were electrocuting

them, say, "BUZZ!!! BUZZ!!. . ."

63. Start arguing with yourself. When they ask you who you are talking to, say, 

"Your just jealous 'cause the voices are talking to ME!!!"

Whee.  On Friday, my friend Kristi and I get to skip school and go to the Dells with my family.  We're staying the weekend in this awesome waterpark hotel called the Wilderness.  I get to miss my Unit Test for math, 90 points that I'll have to make up while the class reviews for the final.  Our math final is on the last day of school...can you say unfair!!

I'm finally caught up in all my classes, though I'm practically failing math.  My father found out about my grade, a D+, and started saying that I was a failure, and if that's the way I wanted my life to be, failing math and science, then that's the way it  would be.  The irony of it is that I have over 100% in science, one of my favorite classes.

And, it's funny, he thinks it's outside things that cause me to be depressed, yet he's telling me that my life is worthless, a failure.  Yeah. 

I had the weirdest dream last night.  It was really jumpy, and I woke up at 2:00 AM because I thought there was a bee by my neck and heard buzzing.  It would have been really funny to see, though, because one moment I was all calm, and the next I was just this blur of movement, swatting at my bed.  Anyway, the dream was that my mother wanted me to turn off the dryer in our basement (it's broken, so we have to turn the gas physically on and off in the basement), and I said I would, but then there was this bee in my room, buzzing around by my lightswitch, which is by my door.  I told her that she had to come in and kill it, and she did, and I fell asleep, and woke up on a couch in this other room.  (This is still a dream, by the way).  The room was like a living room, and I knew it was my house that I was living in with my fiancee-an arranged marraige, I had to live with him to "learn to get along" for the couple of months before my marraige.  Anyway, he was on the computer, and he wouldn't get off, because I wanted to get on, so I killed him with cotton balls and got on and read Harry Potter fanfictions.

Well, that's really it.

I just had my first appointment with my "counsler" yesterday.  I missed about two hours of school-yay!  Anyway, her name is Carol and she's really nice.  I didn't like her at first, but whatever.  She rubbed me the wrong way, but I still don't trust her.  I AM clinically depressed, and have probably been that way for a long, long time.  I hide it well, though.  Much practice.  Anyway, I have medication, for some sorta happy-drug.  Dunno.

Nothing much's going on at school.  I'm not doing really good in Math, D+, and I was failing Social Studies for a day or two before I was able to catch up with a whole buncha work.  Major suckage.  I have soo much math crap to work on, I'm gonna be busy this whole weekend, so I probably won't post again. 

The only good thing about Carol, other than that she listens to me and talks to me like I'm adult (my conceptual, or something, intelligence/age is much older than my bodily age, ((12))) is that she got the internet re-instated for me.  She calls it a cpoing mechanism, I call it fun, but whatever.  I can go back on my precious fanfiction.net now, and post here.

We have only, like, 12 days of school left.  I can't wait to become nocturnal.  Now, to learn how to re-connect the internet...  My friend brought her chinchilla to school today.  Her name is Sophie, and she's so cute!!!  The really pathetic thing, though, is that her stepmom traded her dog for it.  Her dog's name was Lucy.

A poem for you, as a parting gift.  It's called a silent poem, we did it in Language Arts.  This is for all the vampires like me out there...

"The Beast"

You can feel the Beast, my 'kin.

But does it control you, as it does me?

Does it sink its black tendrils of

Hatred, pain, suffering

Into your very heart and soul

As it does to me?

Can you feel the Beast, Healer-child?

Does it convert your power, as it does mine?

Is it pulling you into sickness,

As it does to me?

And you, happychild?

Laughing, smiling, caring

Seeming so content.

When you are alone,

Do you feel a tug at your heart?

Do you wonder?

Do any of you wonder,

Wonder what it feels like?

To be posessed with

Pure, utter power.

When it takes me, I see your reaction.

Your eyes are fear,

You heart hatred.

Someday, you will understand.

For now, my life is like the cycle of night and day.

Full of Light and Darkness.

My light, and your darkness.

Gods All Bless,

Hey, everyone!  What has happened to me, to make me lose 33 straight hours of sleep, you ask?  I couldn't sleep on Friday-05/07/04-so I went down to get a cough drop 'cause I had a really bad cough.  I ended up watching the ending half of this really dumb movie called "Outbreak" with my dad-he went to bed at about 11:45., I stayed 'till the end, around 12:10.  There was absolutely nothing on TV to watch after that-even though we have satellite, and, like, 500 channels, so I went on the internet and read Harry Potter Fanfictions the whole time.  My fav. HP couples are: Hermione/Draco, Hermione/Snape (can't remember his first name right now), and Harry/Ginny.  In all the fics where even a side couple ends up as Harry/Ginny, Ron ends up beating up Harry at least once, or attempting to.

On Friday we were dissecting Earthworms in our Science Class-EEW!!!  I NEVER WANTED TO KNOW WHAT THE INSIDE OF A WORM LOOKED LIKE!!!!!  Sorry for the outurst, it's just that my group is hopeless.  There's this one girl who calls me a bitch behind my back but sucks up to me when I'm watching so she can get a good grade-which is really sad, actually, she's failing; another girl is nice, but deaf; and there's this geeky, scrawny kid with a rattail.  It doesn't really make it any better when you've got this big long-haired, bleach-blonde kid hanging over your lab group teh whole friggin time, talking about the razorblade and how it wouln't cut skin.  I dunno who would wanna cut with a worm-gutty razorblade, but it really hurt having him say things like that when I'm over here, rubbing absentmindedly about 7 or 8 cuts on my wrist, self-inflicted.  Then my hand trails down to my lower leg, where there's a cut about four inches long, going vertically.

Goddess help me.  You don't even want to get me started about FACS.  But, I haven't told you about Lakai yet, have I?  Lakai is my alter ego-she used to be the skateboarding king of the planet Darkstar, before I stole-borrowed-with-half-permission her from her original creator, Kevin.  A VERY big thank you to you, Kevin. .

Oh, and before I feel bad enough about this...One of my guy-acquaintances' birthdays was on April 30...Happy Belated Birthday, Brandon! .  He's also known as Gumby.

 Oh, man.  I'm sick today, so I get to stay home from school.  These things are fun.  This is my first post, and I'm excited.  Today, I would've had band, Spanish, Social Stuides, Math, and Art.  I'm only sad about missing art, really.  We're making something she calls "Stuffed Fish".

Anyway, yesterday, I had FACS, and Dan is my sewing partner.  Oh, help me.  I swear, if he screws up his machine one more time...  He had a clump of thread stuck in the bobbin place about the size of a dime, and it took me and two other kids about five minutes to get it out.  I pulled it out with a seam ripper.

We were observing dead jellyfish at school yesterday-they SMELL!  It was really nasty, but cool at the same time.  The crap they were preserved in-EEW!

That's really all-

Oh, yeah, isn't the above thingy cool!  It's a raven, get it!  Ravyn Wing!